oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize