You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
