I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
