Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize