Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
