A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
