I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
