her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
