Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
