paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
