we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
