all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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