I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
