I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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