you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
