when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
