I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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