Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
