Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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