Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
