We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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