he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
