why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
