sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
