i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the day after is always just damage control
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
