escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Everything about him screamed your future.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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