why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
