i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
