So drunk its hurt
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
