I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
