I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize