WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
