Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
