why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
