Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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