you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
