Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
