I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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