actually, I'm a sock model
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
