You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
