she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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