I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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