new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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