I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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