I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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