Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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