You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
