hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
