he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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