plz talk dirty to me
I'm going to jail i love you
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
