Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
