That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
