if you like me you must not know who I am
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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