So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im holly from the hills drunk
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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