Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
