Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
