they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
