its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
