she looked like the before picture.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
