just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
