I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
