Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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