I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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